(breaks into your house) can i pet your dogs
(breaks into your house) drink bleach bitch
2013 was five years ago let that sink in
haha look at the nerd! where you going with all those books, nerd? you going to the library, geek? hey maybe I’ll come with you, you gross nerd. maybe we’ll read books together lmao. maybe we’ll briefly lock eyes and shyly hold hands, you loser hahaha. check it out guys, poindexter and me are going to tenderly kiss and share our sexual awakenings
love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole
Reblog if it’s okay to befriend you, ask questions, ask for advice, rant, vent, let something off your chest, or just have a nice chat.
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
After the Roman drinks the beers, he tells the bartender, “I want a martinus.”
"Don’t you mean a martini?”
"If I wanted two, I would’ve asked for them."
i cant stop laughing omg
drinking tea now and then doesnt make you sophisticated it just means you like drinkign wet leaf
enjoy your fucki ng wet leaves